The True Man
by jlbean
Summary: What happens when Axel and Roxas are pressured into finding out who is more manly? Chaos is imminent...
1. Chapter 1

The True Man

**Authors Note: This is not going to be a one-shot…maybe…at the end of each chapter...a character will die…and come back to life…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothin. **

**Day 1**

Roxas: (overhears Marluxia's and Lexaus' conversation)

Lexaus: Why are YOU the star of the video?

Axel: Why do you think?

Lexaus: Is it because…I'm too sexy for the camera?

Marluxia: Far from it imbecile.

Lexaus: This is a manly show.

Marluxia: Exactly.

Lexaus: Well, why am I NOT the star?

Axel: (pops up out of nowhere) because I'm more manly than you both are!

Roxas: (walks up) yeah, me and Axel should be the stars!

Axel: Yeah, I should be the star.

Roxas: No, I meant we both be the stars.

Axel: This is a manly show, like they said.

Roxas: Exactly.

Axel: Well, your kinda…you know…kiddy.

Roxas: Well…only true men are serious all the time!

Axel: Only true men play with fire. (plays with a little fireball)

Roxas: Well, true men use swords! (summons his keyblades)

Axel: (summons his chakrams) well my chackrams are beast! And you don't have swords!

Lexaus: (summons his axe sword) BUT I DO!

Axel: No yours is an axe sword! And only true men fight with circles.

Roxas: But a sword represents another long stick of mine…O-O…while your circles represent your little circle!

Marluxia and Lexaus: (lol face) oooohhhhh!

Axel: Weapons actually represent what you want.

Marluxia and Lexaus: (lol face) OOOHHHHH…ohh…wait (summon their weapons and grow Me Gusta faces)

Axel: (troll face) problem?

Roxas: (no face) No.

Axel: Hehehe…

Roxas: Well only a true man can watch the ring and not get scared!

Axel: Only a true man can watch the ring VIDEO and not die in seven days!

Roxas: Your on! (leaves the room)

Axel: sucker.

Roxas: (after 5 min. comes back) Heh…now we have to wait 7 days!

Axel: Ok.

Roxas: ONLY A TRUE MAN CAN TAKE A BULLET TO THE FACE!

Axel: Oh yeah! Xigbar!

Xigbar: Yeah mah peeps?

Axel: SHOOT ROXAS IN THE FACE!

Roxas: BRING IT ON! (bullet flies into his cheek and out the other cheek) DOH! (Roxas dies)

Xigbar: Oh…my…god…

Axel: Heheheheh.

Vexen: I'm on a revival potion.


	2. Chapter 2

The True Man

AN: Hello.

Reviews: Mysterious person? Yes I know who you are. You didn't finish the review. And yes, I wrote these stories.

Little Sweety Pea: Yes I have, but you have no clue what's coming up.

Disclaimer: SQUARE ENIX OWN KH! I NO-NO OWN KH! 'Nuff said.

Day 2

Roxas: (Awakens) What happened to mah face?

Axel: A bullet.

Roxas: (Stares at Xigbar before saying in a deep devilish voice) Never be alone.

Axel: (Chuckles)

Roxas: Whats so funneh?

Axel: Yo face.

Roxas: Ive been shot bro…shut up.

Axel: (Chuckles)

Roxas: Shut up bro!

Axel: It's not your face this time it's your hair!

Roxas: What's wrong with my hair?

Axel: Nothing it's just Manly men have great features! Ive got the on of a kind charm, and the beautiful sexy hair.

Roxas: Pssh! My hair defies gravity, what the hell does yours do?

Cloud: Uh, so does min-

Roxas: SHUT UP YOUR NOT PART OF THIS! (Thwacks him in the head with his keyblade)

Cloud: (Runs away crying)

Axel: It's red.

Roxas: So?

Axel: It's Red.

Roxas: SO?

Axel: It looks like fire.

Roxas: No it doesn't.

Axel: Yes it does bro. It's freaking hot like fire too!

Roxas: Uh, no it's not.

Axel; Yeah it is! Touch it! TOUCH IT!

Roxas: No I will not touch it!

Axel: TOUCH IT AND CARESS IT AND ABSORB ITS WARMTH!

_Meanwhile_

Larxene: (Walks by and overhears the yelling and quickly runs away from the room)

Marluxia: (Bursts through the door) I want in!

Roxas: (With Axel's full head of hair in his face) WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?

Marluxia: (Walks outside) Im out.

Axel: (Calmed down) Okay. Fine. You don't have to touch it. (Suddenly his hair lights on fire.

Roxas: Bro your hair is on fire!

Axel: Yeah I get that a lot.

Roxas: (Pulls out a pocket mirror) No seriously dude look!

Axel: Oh My God! …You carry a mirror around with you? That's totally gay!

Roxas: Do you even care that your hair is on fire?

Axel: Is this your way of telling me that im hot?

Roxas; What? No?

Axel; Tell Me Im PRETTY?

Roxas: No!

Axel: That's it! Your fired!

Roxas: (Not even realizing that he was never hired) No your fired! (Que the awesome face)

Axel: …

Roxas: (Que the troll face) Problem Bro?)

Cupcake: Uh, Im a cupcake!

Vexen: Ooh! A cupcake! (Tries to eat it)

Cupcake: (pulls out a gun and shoots Vexen in the face) NO!

Axel: Bro, you are totally stupid.

Roxas: Am not! I never wanted to do this Axel, but you leave me no other choice! My SUPER SECRET PANEL! CHIMICHONGA! (Pulls out a second keyblade)

Axel: Uh, Roxas. That panel totally sucks.

Roxas: Shut up! (Teary eyed) It's awesome!

Axel: No it's not.

Roxas: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! (Cries and thrusts a keyblade into Axel's chest.

Axel: …

Roxas: …(stops crying) woah bro… are you…ok?

Axel: Do I look like I'm ok? I'M BEING IMPALED BY A GIANT F*CKING KEY! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAHHHH! ( Faints)

The End

AN: Dunno.


End file.
